My love life sucks

Well, it’s official. My love life sucks. For the last 7 months I was in phone conversation with someone I really thought could finally be ‘the one’. She was a blast from my past on cruise ships who chased me up online after 15 years on myspace. We became really good friends over the phone. We both just knew we had to meet up as it was obvious our feelings for each other were really strong. She chased me up because I made her feel secure in that previous short relationship before I got transferred to another ship.

I booked a ticket from here in the UK to California to meet her again, just don’t get me started on jet lag! I just got back, 5 days earlier than planned, as it was obvious we just don’t work as a couple which is why my love life sucks. I paid to get a flight home early I knew it could only get wierd & I wanted to avoid that for my own hearts protection. Maybe we didn’t talk enough about the things that matter in a relationship first. Maybe we just didn’t talk enough about what we both expected in each other & wanted in a relationship. This is the part I’m having trouble dealing with as I’m sure we both thought we did. Most of all I was straight up & never hid any secrets such as my current financial situation.

I thought from our talks I was going to meet a curvy yet fit woman. In my jet lagged state at San Francisco airport I finally met her again & my first thought was ‘this wont work, theres a lot more of you than I was expecting’. I know this sounds really shallow & thats why pushed on regardless & tried to be romantic & get to know the woman from all those phone calls.

Unfortunately the negative little things started to add up, probably for both of us. In about 4 days flat the idea of us both as a couple died. Don’t get me wrong here – I’m not writing this blog to have a go at her & I hope we will remain good friends in the future. Of course its too soon to tell right now, I guess we need some of that space & time from each other. Oh how my love life sucks!

At the airport for my trip home I hugged her, kissed her on the cheek and explained that I felt dazed & confused. Emotionally my mind had 7 months invested in our relationship & to see it all go to shit in just 4 days has me confounded! I asked her to put her thoughts about all of this in an email sometime but of course I don’t know if that will ever happen. I think I need some closure on our relationship that never really happened in the first place.

Story of my life – my love life sucks! PERIOD. Tip! Avoid long distance relationships if you can.

She was a gracious host, I got to be a tourist & visit Alcatraz, go wine tasting & visit the Monterry Bay Aquarium amonst other things. I was hoping for so much more with her but I guess it just wasn’t to be.

Tags: my love life sucks