Deal with it! I’ve got my own demons, mostly UK financial (Debts basically) that I’m trying to deal with. Well…. somewhere on this blog I have stated ‘charity begins at home’. You’ve just got to pay your own way in life before you can help others (financially talking – I mean donate to charity)

Good news! I’m off to a new job in January. I’ll be living in Trinidad & Tobago in the Carribean. By cutting the excessive cost of living in the Uk I can actually get out of debt a little faster despite the exchange rate to the UK £. Of course the better weather & scenery will help too!

Please give me acouple of months to settle in to my new job. Hopefully by then I’ll something more interesting to blog about!

When I signed in for the first time in a month today I saw requests for advice but I also realised some comments were old news. I replied to one comment & pressed ‘apply’ but just not sure if my reply is public right now.

Well, I never claimed to be perfect. A lot of the opposite in fact!

All the best!
Aid Renegade

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U2 ZOO Live from Sydney (Been to Sydney on my travels)

One bad thing about working on cruise ships during the ’90′s is that I never got to see big, well known bands live. Luckly, in the USA I was able to buy the video of U2 live in Sydney, Austrailia when they performed what I think was one of the best U2 live performances ever. It was a total f**king awe-inspiring show. I’ve always been ‘pissed’ that I could’nt find it on DVD here in the UK since I got back in 2004.

I spotted it in HMV 2 weeks ago but didn’t have the money. Works been good this month, really starting to think I can get a grip on my debts once again. Today I brought the DVD. First, good news! Unlike a Pink Floyd DVD, Pulse, that I also oroginally brought in the US, but was split between 2 DVD’s in the pack for UK release, Zoo is all on one DVD – the concert in it’s greatness fron start to finish!

Note to Pink Floyd DVD UK management. Pink Floyds music is all about chilling out. Why the f**k do you make me choose between the first half of their concert or the second? I mean I have to get up & put in the second DVD! I owned Pulse on DVD in the US. It was as it should be! All on one disc. Shame on you for for not releasing it on one disc in Pink Floyds home country!

So, ok, now I’ve got that off my chest back too Zoo! – So many personal fond memories! Hell! I got laid back in the early 90′s to Actung Baby. It was the girl that supplied the music in her house & well, it was fun! In an ever more complicated world only love will save you! John Lennon said it right in his song ‘Imagine’ (Seriously, google it!) Pay attention to the Lyrics.

Not being able to catch U2′s Zoo TV or POP tours means I’ve always been jealous that I’ve missed out on a great experience. If memory serves me my Zoo TV video was jumping with faults because I played it soo much! I hope my UK DVD version lasts longer. I last saw U2 live in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, in about 2002, maybe 2003. They had got back to basics in their live show as they are today. I’d seriously think about paying out an extortionate amount of money if I could get tickets today to see U2 reprise Zoo TV as an awe inspiring live concert! ….& I’ve only got the DVD to go on…. At least I can now see Zoo TV live any time I want too!

Bring back the Zoo TV tour U2! It was awesome! Bono, just think what your charity ego could acomplish with the money. Plus, your new generaton of U2 fans could apprieciate the original artistic form of , how through Zoo Tv, you passed a message on. I got the message through the video even if no one world wide got it through the passion that is a live performance.
PS – hope my spellings better on this ‘drunk dreaming’ trip!

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So OK, went offf on a bit of a ‘Robin Williams live’ tangent there. Pink is a big fan of 4 Non Blondes & guess what- so am I. I knew I brought their ’4 Non blondes’ album. Get this! Just 2 songs after Pink the 4 non Blondes classic ‘Whats Up’ video played as well. I spurred me on to dig the 4 Non Blondes album out of my travel Case Logic err… cases.

Get this! I couldn’t even find the CD case insert for the album, let alone the CD album itself. I dragged the last ’50 CD’ case logig case off the shelf & a lone CD fell onto the shelf. Seriously! It was the very album, 4 Non Blondes, that I was looking for! I checked all through my last Case Logic err… well case. No CD insert but more important I’ve got the album on CD in my hand! Just hope I can still play it! Assume no update means the album plays just fine!

Seriously! Just what are the odds of an album you’ve had for years just falling onto your shelf when you think you’ve already lost it! now its time to sign off & play the album. I’m already pissed that it’s not a live video. Call me yer typical dumb male at heart but I prefer playing ‘live in concert’ videos than albums. Hell, last night I dug out Gary Moore’s album ‘still got the blues’.

UPDATE: A couple of hours later after enjoying playing the album! Info on Wilkipedia on 4 Non Blondes.  Wow! To paraphrase Mike Myers in ‘Waynes World’, Linda can wail! (Possibly better than Cassandra!)

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That must resonate with someone on this planet! I’m a dreamer at heart. In the words of the late great John Lennon, Live your dreams! I’m still figuring out how to live my own dreams. Just like your life itself, my own life is a work in progress.

I guess I got bored of ‘politically correct’ stories etc. Don’t think for a second that PC gone mad & health & saftey gone mad doesn’t piss me off big time! I guess I’ve just become a bit ‘numb’ to it.

Best tip I can give from my little – read blog is this. Always dream of a better life! Just because I hav’nt figured out an answer doesn’t mean you can’t! Life is a team effort! If you too have a conscience then please post a reply to this post! This is the true power of the internet!

WHEN COMMUNICATION FAILS IN THE HUMAN RACE PEOPLE START DYING.

THE INNOCENT ‘little people’ die first. PEOPLE LIKE YOU & ME!

Chartity is the new power of us little people. By giving, either though your own actions as a good person. I don’t have the extra cash to donate to charity. I’m too busy trying to pay my own way in life. My debts have all gone to S**T in the last 3 months.

Hell, I’ve called my creditors but one, MINT I think, just won’t stop the annoying automatesd calls because, despite the fact that I actually called them, they won’t stop the calls because I could’nt make a token / good faith payment. While explaining this to the Mint representive on the phone over a week ago there was a sudden ‘ loss of signal’. Personally I think the Mint rep just hung up because she could’nt answer my question.

I’ve called you. I’ve communicated my current financial situation to you. By default, as far as I’m concerned, I’m in communication with you. Apparently this is just not good enough! I was told that the annoying 3 – 5 times a day automated calls to my mobile & home phone cannot be stopped because I just don’t have enough cash to make a token payment. Quite simply, F**K YOU! Please use this blog post in your case against me. I’m just trying to survive in the western world / UK. I’v spent 5 years trying to ‘do the right thing’ & pay off my debt.

I’m REALLY F**KING PISSED AT THE LACK OF TOLERANCE MY CREDITORS NOW SHOW ME AFTER 5 YEARS OF A PERSONAL FINANCIAL HELL TRYING TO GET OUT OF DEBT.

IT’S BEEN 5 YEARS NOW. IN HINDSIGHT, I WISH I’D JUST DECLAIRED BANCRUPTCY IN 2004. I’f I had, I might finally be able to get on with my life.

Doing the right thing, as per my concience, has really worn thin. I’m seriously thinking of final ‘f**k you creditors’ by declairing bancruptcy. Of course here in the UK this action will f**k up your credit history for about 6 years. 5 years in & seriously struggling to pay off my debt (do the right thing)…. I think I would have been better off declairing bancrupcy! At least then I could have spent the last 4 years saving up a deposit for a house! Despite my bad credit history I would have still had a big deposit for a new home!

Right now my good guy conscience is really being tested! Afterall virtually every mother fu****g politician has milked your own UK tax contributions for all their worth.

I’m so glad I’ve been out of the country & tax exempt while I was abroad. Unfortunately most UK based couples that went on to get married & have children don’t have the option of moving abroad, because they were never able to save enough due to the high cost of living, to move abroad & look for a better life for their family.

Tip….. Don’t vote Labour. I use to say vote Tory, the best alternative. After the recent expenses scandal, I’m more inclined the vote for a minority party (NEVER BNP!) because the 2 main UK parties are full of corruption. They’ve been milking the the ‘financial cow’ as part of their job description. What’s the unamious UK politicians defence claim? ” I did’nt break any rules’.

There’s no concience in UK potitics any more. Trust is earned. I’m not convinced any UK (so called) political leader has got the balls to keep it simple & make the law stand for something from the lowest level.

IT’S F**KING SIMPLE you poor excuse for current politicians!

THE PUNISHMENT FOR A CRIME MUST BE A MAJOR DETERRENT! If not, (world beware) we have the namby pambly ‘soft touch’ feeling to what the law does, as here in the UK.

UK Human Rights laws (great idea but in it’s current form the biggest LABOUR f**kup as it is more benificial to the bad guy)

If there is no real deterrant then there is no real law. Come be a tourist & visit England! Lose the life of a loved one to crime & then really get pissed off at the stupdly short sentence they get! Next, go public in your home country (PLEEAASSE!) & take your tourist dollars to another country!

I probably hav’nt spelt this right (I am drunk again!) but does Lockerbie ring a bell!

Scotland is still a part of the UK. By default a Scottish err… English prime minister (Capital ‘p’ & ‘m’ left out because the current unelected pm doesn’t deserve the credit)

Is this a secret Scottish / pollital takeover? No I think not. But I’ve met everyday Scottish people on my cruise ship travels. Maybe some of them think their own fledgling government sucks too.

I have lots of respect for the Scottish (& other Celts) You & England have a common problem! Politicians without any real ‘balls’ to to the right thing.

I’m bored of this subject for now & I’m hungry too! Any comments are aprieciated! Comments = Communication! All views will be posted & so OK, I swore in this blog so fairs fair, you can swear in you comments I guess…..

Update 26th Sept ’09. Sorry for the swearing! Just being passionate. Certain letters were deleted & replaced with ‘*’.  You’ll get the idea of my point of view.

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Or maybe not….. At least the alcohol is doing it’s job! The shit state of my life has escaped my mind for now. Must not let my pizza burn in the oven this time!

In my drunk mind I’m still the good guy – my alter ego – the aid renegade. I wish someone had invented a ‘mind recorder’. Hell, even the Beatle’s did a little drug abuse at some point! I’m a big fan of John Lennon. No, I don’t own CD’s of his. Bear with me! Just switched of the cooker so I don’t let my pizza burn while I type this blog! Now I’m going hunting for a christmas prezzie from a past friend to get the words right. (Thanks Jupiters ‘mom’)

I leave this prezzie rolled up in a cubbard because right now I just can’t afford to get it mounted into a frame that I can hang on the wall for inspiration. These words deserve so much more than blu tac to pin it on my rooms wall!

Imagine their’s no countries,
It isn’t hard to do, nothing to kill or die for and no religion too,
Imagine all the people,
living life in peace, you may say that I’m a dreamer,
but I’m not the only one.
I hope someday you’ll join us,
AND THE WORLD WILL LIVE AS ONE.

Please note: No tacky links to Amazon / John Lennon here! It’s the words that are most important! PEACE!

I believe in the theory that ‘what goes around comes around’. Unlucky in life, I wonder all the time where is my life going? It’s like my life has been in limbo fo 5 or 6 years now. I’m posting this on my blog despite the fact that I have a job interview next week for a service engineers position, something I’ve done for most of my life but not in the last 7 years. Sure I dream of getting this job but lets face it, I’ve been ‘out of the loop’ as a service engineer for quite a while now.

At least my CV / resumae got me the interview! I read in the papers how many people apply for lots of jobs & never hear back. I’m assuming I won’t get this job. At least it should give me 21st century experience of a job interview! I need some security in my personel financial world. I’m just not getting that as a self employed tiler anymore. If the company holding the interview checks out my name online I hope they read this! Who know’s….Maybe the’ve ‘googled’ my name already – many companies do.

So OK, I’m rambling…. I’ll try to remember the original reason for starting this blog post before I finally post it! (Yes, I know. I use the ‘exclamation mark, !, a lot at times)

Go John Lennon! One of the simplest song’s you ever wrote had the most important message in the world and you wrote it over 30 years ago.

OK, I give up! Dam the alcohol. It’s a double – edged sword of the mind. I can’t remember the original reason for starting this post. What the hell! It’s Saturday night. I’ll enjoy myself, even if only in my own mind because I’m drunk. Every day life has really sucked for a long time now. Consider my alcohol powered holidays into my dreamers world a little light relief from the pressures of every life, 5 or 6 hous at at a time.

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Not worried about SEO right now! Yep! Im drunk again, running / avoiding my financial problems. I’m to busy dreaming of a perfect world to worry about the fact that I can’t pay my bills for two months running right now. Bring it on Mint, Capital One, Barclay Card Business & HSBC WHO CHARGE ME MORE THAN ANY CREDIT CARD FOR defaulted payments! At £25 pounds a hit it’s no wonder you  (HSBC) posted second best profits last week.

You too understand the simple theory of ‘power in numbers’.  In HSBC’s case ( my own bank – since I was a paper boy, about 25 years ago, but understand I’m tired of being you’re bitch.

I think every bank now requests a banking history of at least 1 month before that bank will give you an account, judging by NatWest. So OK, now it’s a case of no ‘start anew’ for people with problems financially.

Thanks to the mild ‘Spanish Inquision’ from Nat West Bank I’m assuming all banks now request a financial history of at least 1 month. How the f**K am I to try to start afresh if every bank I approach want’s a credit history? What ever happened to the good old time when a bank would let you open a personal account if you supplied some good old fashioned cash?

The banking system has trapped me! I’m not quite there yet but I’m seriously thinking of just saying ‘F**k you! – I wll declair bancrupcy as I just cant find enough work as a tiler to cover my bills any more. I thought my life sucks when I knew my potential love live wasn’t happening! Financially, it’s just been a one way downhill financial slide since then….

Shit! I thought I had already hit rock bottom! Apperently not…. PS – Automated / computer generated phone calls now plague my life. Their all from companies I owe money to (cards) . I thought if I give them a week before answering I’d have some good news for them in the form of work & a paypacket.

I guess not! It’s why this (me!) dreamer is drunk! I’ve just filled my fridge with cheap food for at least 10 days. Survival 101! FEED YOURSELF! I needed a break from the realty of my life so I brought a value wiskey bottle, value diet coke & 1 pack of cigarettes. How the f**k can I quit smoking while under the stress of my financial burden?

Why the f**k am I typing this blog when I should be using my alcohol consumption to take a ‘hours long only’ break from the dire reality of my life?

I guess I care, Im just know I’m not the only person going through this personal hell. Regardless of your last job description you are not alone with your financial difficulties!

If you’re a UK resident please visit Money Saving Expert.com at the first sign of financial trouble! Thats not any kind of affiliate link!

Don’t live in denial / some work will turn up soon / it’ll be OK in the end theory. Click on the link above & grab the free help to enable you to avoid if possible the financial disaster I’m now in. I thought I had retrained with a trade that would always be in demand. How wrong I was! – Despite my best intentions & 5 years of trying to earn enough to pay off my debt I now find myself in a position beond my own controll. A TOTAL LACK OF WORK for tilers to go around! I’m just a tiler! I tried to ‘better myself’ & retraind on the job in construction.

I’m just about 3 weeks away from saying ‘F**k it!’ ‘I’ve had enough!’ Time to declair bancrupsy! I don’t think anyone reading this will truelly get it unless you’ve been in a saimular situation or know someone else who has.

All I wanted to do was the HONOURABLE think & pay of the debt I incurred. After 5 years of struggling to make payments & then see the source of my income dry up faster than a water well in Africa I think it’s time to be the ‘renegade’ I dreamed of myself being one day.

Now more than ever do I understand my own words that ‘Charity begins at home’.

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I’m a dreamer that just has’nt figured out how to make my mark on the human race in general. I dream of peace, but as global warming begins to get a grip on the world the’re is just one simple conclusion. The politic’s of the human race will always compromise your ability to be your own boss. I think we may be 5 – 10 years away from the world as we know it going to shit! We are so use to relying on other people! I’d love to be an aid worker! I’m a problem solver, on the ground in, say, Africa,  where I believe the human race evolved from, & a place the western world must make a priorty to support. All that the rest of the world is, & who its populated by, came from Africa.

Follow that simple fact through! The whole world as we know it is actually born of Africa – The crade of life – The human race populated the world from Africa. In the process evolution played its part. It’s why I’m white in skin colour. Oh.. this could cause some contraversy. No problem to me – I’m an aethist,  In an ever more complicated world I like to keep things simple! I’m white because  the sun is not so strong over England. – That’s the evolution of the human race in your face! Deal with it – It’s a fact.

I think it’s why my life has humbled me. Africa – I’m drawn to it by the Darwin Theory. Why has the western world left Africa behind? As far as politicians go, talking about Africa is just a ‘political vote’ that must be listened to. Politicians do the bare minimum in the form of charity to win your vote. We vote people in to office to deal with the complicated shit we don’t personnally deal with.

Fact: Politicians get their pay packet from YOUR taxes. Expences are also paid for by you (& me as well!)  through our taxes. I don’t know about you but I think that here in the UK the options of who to vote for are limited. Think about it: Sure the Green party or other may have the, possibily, best ideals at heart but, here , for most voters its a simple case of voting for the lesser of two evils, if you can be bothered to vote at all.

I’m in that dilema myslelf. I voted Tory ( Conservative) last time but the general expenses scandal has left me thinking: ‘Glad you’re busted’ but it doesn’t change the fact that I think most major party members have taken the piss out of the English public through their expenses claims. THERE IS NOW NO HONOUR in being a UK politician. Fuck You! As a tax payer I demand better from government (That means you politicians ). You ‘fuck’ me financially. Well what goes around comes around. You should expect me to FUCK you right back. Why? In this recession that all Western Governments should have seen coming I will do what I have to do to survive.

You are Government. You ARE MY BITCH! (Hello USA! I’m'English’  ‘English’, )  I do my bit to pay your (English politicians) wage. Earn it or I will bring you down! It’s at this point I expect some desperate labour idiot to pick me out & use his ‘time limited’ power in office to ‘go for me’.  This is the simple idea of democracy. Abuse it as a politician & in the 21st century of internet communication it will come to public notice. It’s not a matter of ‘if’ its a matter of ‘when’ . From a politicians point of view it’s a simple case of what can I get away with before I’m found out.

Also: Said politician probably has a vote on the legal system so it a case of ‘how long can I get away with it’?

Like I said, I’m drinking. I’m busting for a piss rigjht now. I just came up with a new game. Next time you need to pee (ladies or gents) think of a particular politician whos actions, at your tax dollars expense, have pissed you off.  Just,  in your own mind, PISS ALL OVER THEM while you deal with the call of nature! Maybe they’ll get the hint one day. I think this recession hasn’t hit home fully yet. An extravigant government is basically a Ponzi scheme in waiting. Take UK Labour – borrow, borrow, borrow! We’ll just leave it to the Conservatives to sort our mess out – if they can!.

I hate this attitude: Fucking “Financially I’m set for life, what with my Gold Plated pension” bloody politicians! Well FUCK YOU! I will do WHAT I NEED TO DO TO SURVIVE in the private sector. MAKE SURE MY OWN PERSONAL COMMITMENTS ARE COVERED! This is the power all workers have in a democracy. Especially if your self employed.

If get a ‘cash in hand’ ( ie : bartor) job I will keep as much as possible to myself If it keeps me from ‘signing on the dole’. My mission in life is to survive. I must stress that I mean not at the loss of others – I have a big concience! I know right from wrong.

Has everyone or anyone realised that the olny people that make the rules do it after getting voted into their political position? That’s why politics is a dinosaur, It’s just not in a politicians ‘pay packet’ to rock the boat, so they don’t. They leave it for the next generation of politicians to deal with it. Hey! you pay their wage too! Are you getting the picture yet?

Disclaimer: If you are in a ‘Quango’ non job on more than your important front line staff such as:

(front line / on the ground workers)

Medical staff (nurses, doctors, ambulance paramedics – in no particular order…)

Police on the beat (England needs more of you!)

Firemen / Sorry! Fire Women too!)

Frontline armed forces staff. So OK I’m basically a pacifist at heart but don’t think for a secnond I don’t respect your commitment to you’re job due to the risks. I don’t agree with the war you’re fighting but I DO respect your just doing the job you signed up to do.

PS – Still drinking & dreaming! No point in stopping now…. Anyone actually bothered / got the integrity to post a comment?

Aid Renegade by name – Aid Renegade by Nature! Now to figure out how to turn some of my personal dreams into reality. Any offers? I just want to start somewhere. I’m just naurally shy, I loved the Steve Martin movie Parenthood but just hate the fact I’m the 4th child! One day – I’ll figure it out! I’ll have a career in aid work. Trouble is, sometimes it’s not what you know, it’s who you know. I guess I hav’nt met that ‘who you know’ person yet. Hell, maybe my sub consiouce led me to write this blog just to try to grab the attention of the ‘who you know’ person, even if I don’t know them yet.

Go figure…. Life’s not easy being a 41 year old DREAMER! No apologies if you don’t like the way I describe life in general. I have a comments form! Maybe you should show some ‘balls’ & air your opinion!

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